You’re not failing, you’re learning

I listened to a great podcast recently where they discussed the idea of reframing failure.

The host mentioned that she had spent 6 months trying to do something a certain way, before she finally realised it just wasn't working and changed her approach. She felt frustrated because she had wasted 6 months 'failing and being an idiot' before she realised that she needed to change up her goal.

Her guest (an ADHD coach) reframed this, not as 6 months of failure, but 6 months of gathering data, making observations, and learning what doesn't work.

Powerful, right?

When we make goals (especially new years resolutions) it's easy to set huge, ambitious (and sometimes unrealistic!) aspirations, and then get discouraged when we 'fail'.

I'm inviting you to reframe this failure as learning - learning more about yourself and what does/doesn't work for you, learning what's realistic + achievable (and this is going to change day-to-day because we're all human!). You can then use this learning to experiment and find what does work!

As an example, say your 2024 resolution was to exercise 5 days a week at 6am. 

And maybe you make it on that first Monday, bright and early, and feel amazing! But on Tuesday, you wake up sore and tired, and skip class so you can rest. Wednesday you have to get into work early and can't make it. You get to class on Thursday, but by Friday you're absolutely fried from the week and need a sleep in.

At the start of week 2, you have every intention to 'start afresh' and get there every day. But things pop up through the week and you end up only making it on Tuesday & Friday.

It would be easy at this point to give up because you've 'failed'.

But what you've actually done is 2 weeks of observing, gathering data, and learning what doesn't work for you. 

What those two weeks have taught you is that 5 days a week of 6am classes may not be right for you - and that's okay! Based on those 2 weeks, it seems like 2 classes per week is a better fit.

Rather than getting discouraged the next week and throwing in the towel, experiment and just book two classes! You may also like to experiment with different times/days for movement.

By viewing those two weeks of 'failure' with self compassion and using them to create a new goal, you're much more likely to be able to stick with it, because it's been created especially for YOU!